A Different Kind Of Waiting

Remember the dermatologist appointment I talked about the other day, and how I had to wait until October to get a suspicious mole removed after waiting over an hour for the doctor....well, they had a cancellation and I actually went and had the procedure yesterday. So glad I didn't have to wait so long. I'm not good at waiting, especially for stuff like this. I had melanoma in 1998.

Anyway, I didn't have to wait too long for the doctor this time. She removed the mole from my hip first. That kind of stuff doesn't bother me at all. The doctor's assistants are always asking, "How are you doing?" and "Are you okay?" so I assume that some people are not okay with the needles and the cutting and the stitching.....no problem here. I told the assistant yesterday, "This is the easy part. It's waiting for the biopsy results that's hard."

And it is. It usually takes 7-14 days to get the results back....that is a LONG time.

I remember in 1998 when they called and told me I had melanoma. I had to go back in so they could cut out more to be sure it had not spread. Waiting for the appointment and then waiting for the results was torture. I imagined every horrible scenario possible. I was very lucky. It was contained so I didn't require any further treatment.

I try very hard not to think like that anymore. I now try to live in the present. That means not stressing over the past and not worrying about the future, since you have no control over either. So, I am waiting. Of course, I'm concerned...that is only natural, but I am trying very hard not to stress or to imagine what might be. There is no point in doing that. It's unhealthy and accomplishes nothing. If it's good news, I will be overjoyed. If it isn't, then I will deal with it.

I went home after the procedure yesterday and didn't go back to work, because in addition to removing the mole from my hip, she also froze, burned and scraped off a large growing freckle from under my eye. My eye was numb and felt so weird. Well, not only did it feel weird yesterday, I got up this morning and my eye was almost swollen shut....so I am not at work today either.

I am able to sit for short periods of time as long as I lean to the right and don't lean on my left hip, and the swelling is just starting to go down on my eye, so I can at least see! My plan is to just putter around here today, relax a little bit and try to hurry the healing process!