Wednesday, July 29, 2009

A Different Kind Of Waiting

Remember the dermatologist appointment I talked about the other day, and how I had to wait until October to get a suspicious mole removed after waiting over an hour for the doctor....well, they had a cancellation and I actually went and had the procedure yesterday. So glad I didn't have to wait so long. I'm not good at waiting, especially for stuff like this. I had melanoma in 1998.

Anyway, I didn't have to wait too long for the doctor this time. She removed the mole from my hip first. That kind of stuff doesn't bother me at all. The doctor's assistants are always asking, "How are you doing?" and "Are you okay?" so I assume that some people are not okay with the needles and the cutting and the problem here. I told the assistant yesterday, "This is the easy part. It's waiting for the biopsy results that's hard."

And it is. It usually takes 7-14 days to get the results back....that is a LONG time.

I remember in 1998 when they called and told me I had melanoma. I had to go back in so they could cut out more to be sure it had not spread. Waiting for the appointment and then waiting for the results was torture. I imagined every horrible scenario possible. I was very lucky. It was contained so I didn't require any further treatment.

I try very hard not to think like that anymore. I now try to live in the present. That means not stressing over the past and not worrying about the future, since you have no control over either. So, I am waiting. Of course, I'm concerned...that is only natural, but I am trying very hard not to stress or to imagine what might be. There is no point in doing that. It's unhealthy and accomplishes nothing. If it's good news, I will be overjoyed. If it isn't, then I will deal with it.

I went home after the procedure yesterday and didn't go back to work, because in addition to removing the mole from my hip, she also froze, burned and scraped off a large growing freckle from under my eye. My eye was numb and felt so weird. Well, not only did it feel weird yesterday, I got up this morning and my eye was almost swollen I am not at work today either.

I am able to sit for short periods of time as long as I lean to the right and don't lean on my left hip, and the swelling is just starting to go down on my eye, so I can at least see! My plan is to just putter around here today, relax a little bit and try to hurry the healing process!


Cris Siqueira said...

hi kathy!!
i'm gonna send you a lots of positive thoughts!
i know how you feel, one of my sisters remove a mole in hips few months ago and the results from biopsy was good!!
yes, relax today, try not to think about it and everything will be fine!

happy thoughts, always!!


ps. love your etsy shop!!

have a good day!!

Kathy said...

That you for the kind words Cris and positive thoughts. I appreciate it.

Beth Anderson said...

Kathy - try to relax and enjoy....take pleasure in the little joys and everything will work out fine.
Sending all my positive energy to you.

Kathy said...

Thanks Beth...that is actually how I live my life each and every day. Thanks for the positive energy too! Much appreciated. :)

Lanyardlady said...

Take it easy today. Rest your body and our mind. We'll all be hoping for good news.

Kathy said...

Thanks Cherin. I am doing a little sewing and letting the dogs out and then back in and then out and then back in. It's a beautiful day and they are enjoying having someone home to cater to their every need. I'm enjoying the day off and not thinking further than today. That's my new thinking after reading Eckhart Tolle. :)

aliceinparis said...

Yes! Enjoy your time home today!
All will be well. No matter what the outcome. Things are what they are and we only have now so might as well look on life positively.

I have had a few suspicious freckles burned off my face. Should go in for a check up one of these days. Skin checks are something we all should do:)

Sherry said...

I love your attitude Kathy. Because, truly no matter which way it goes you are surrounded by people who love you and you will be just fine.

Kathy said...

Thanks Shelagh and Sherry. When I was diagnosed in 1998 I was an absolute mess. Since then I have had many things removed and biopsied. This is how my life will always be and I have come to terms with that. I have a great doctor and I get my skin checked regularly, as everyone should. Hint, hint.

I love living in the NOW. It has changed my life and I know it is the only way to live. Can't go back and can't control what will today is it. :)

You guys are all so awesome. Thanks.

AMIdesigns said...

It's great that you got an early appointment. Worrying about these things and the waiting is always the worst. Postitive thoughts your way

T.Allen-Mercado said...

Your attitude is the perfect foundation for staying grounded no matter what comes your way. You're in my good thoughts.

Joanna Jenkins said...

Sending angels and positive thoughts your way.

Liz said...

Enjoy your day and try not to think about getting the results. My prayers are with you. Thank you for your kind words at my blog

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