The Breakup

A tear was hanging there in the corner of my eye and then slowly it tricked down my right cheek. I looked longingly at the building as I drove by on my way to work yesterday. I even thought I smelled a familiar aroma....but alas....I didn't. It was just my imagination playing tricks on me.

As I walked in to the office, I clutched the small Starbucks Chai Latte in my hand. I put down my tote bags and started to remove my food for the day....Total cereal, blueberries, strawberries, soy milk, leftover quinoa pasta with zucchini and spinach pasta sauce, raisins, celery and peanut butter. I placed the cold things in the fridge, left the rest in the bag and sat down at my desk. As I took a sip of my chai latte.....I smiled.

YOU DID IT KATHY!!! YOU REALLY DID IT!!!! It's Friday and you did NOT stop at Dunkin' Donuts, and you are NOT eating a fattening, salty, cholesterol filled egg and cheese croissant that is going to turn the pH of your blood upside down and make your body steal calcium from your precious little bones!!! Chee Hoo!!!!

Friends even though I feel like I broke up with the love of my life...if I can say NO to that egg and cheese croissant, I can say NO to most anything...and today that included cookies, candy and cake that filled our lunch table. I didn't have a single bite.

On the serious side...this change in diet is not easy. I feel hungry a lot. Before if I was hungry, I knew that I could reach in my tote bag for some chips or crackers. They would fill me up. They would make me happy.

Now when I am hungry and I reach in my bag, I find things like dried apricots. If I go to the fridge, I find things like carrots. Those things do NOT fill me up, nor do they make me happy.

After eating like I did my entire life, I think it just becomes a habit. I think you learn to love the taste of certain foods as well as that feeling of being just perfectly full. It has to be an emotional thing.

Now I am in the process of "unlearning" those habits and creating new ones. I have discovered that I can live without the sweets except for my chai and that's okay for now. What I am really missing are the salty, filling snacks. I love things like cheese, crackers, pita chips and corn chips. It's funny because I don't like my food salty. I even buy salt free soup and put in a little dash of my own salt....but salty snacks were my "thing".

Salt is bad, bad, bad for our bones, so I am trying to avoid it. That isn't to say I will never have another salty snack, because I will...just not every day like I was.

I really did an awesome job this week, but it was tough. So much thought has to go into what I'm buying and eating right now that I find it more like work. I am keeping up with my pilates and my yoga and my new treadmill is a dream come true. I am on that thing for 30 minutes every morning before work and I actually like it! I find it challenging and I love a challenge.

I hope that all of you are getting up and doing some walking or some kind of exercise. Making some small changes now might keep you from having to make major changes later.....besides your bones will love you for it!

Make it an awesome day for yourself!

Starbucks Costs A Latte Money

Okay, so get this. On Monday I used the last of my Starbucks Gift Card and enjoyed a tall (small) Chai Latte. That meant on Tuesday I would not be stopping at Starbucks. I am not going to be spending $3.28 for a tall (small) or $4.05 for a grande (medium) Chai Latte five days a week anymore.

For those of you that don't indulge....a Chai Latte is tea that is full of awesome spices, some sweeteners and then mixed with steamed milk. It is beyond yummy!

So, knowing that I couldn't get a Chai on Tuesday, I decided to get creative in the kitchen. I took a chai tea bag, plunked it in some hot water, warmed up some rice milk (I don't drink cow's milk very often), added a touch of honey, poured it into my cup and left for work.

First sip.....weak and a bit watery...not sweet enough....but out of desperation...I drank it all.

Yesterday I tried again. This time I took two tea bags and plunked them in less hot water, I added a little more honey and the warmed rice milk, put it in my cup and left for work.

First sip....not bad....not bad at all. It wasn't Starbucks, but I could almost like it. The only thing I might try is making it with skim milk, because I think the rice milk changes the taste too much. It will still cost some money....but no where near the cost of Starbucks.

Now the days I don't want to spend my hard-earned allowance on Starbucks, I can still enjoy a tasty warm drink on my way to work.

Does that not kick butt? Chee Hoo!

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

I stopped at Starbucks the other morning and ordered my usual "tall, non-fat, no water, extra hot chai latte." The drive through is usually staffed with female 20 somethings and today was no exception. When I got to the window to pay, I handed the girl three singles, one quarter and two pennies. That would be $3.27 for my $3.22 drink.

Now I'm not sure if she just wasn't awake or if she had not had enough coffee yet, but she stood there staring at that money in her hand for the longest time.

I didn't give her any foreign coins or bogus bills...just $3.27.

She seemed quite perplexed as to why I gave her those two extra pennies, but eventually she entered the amount into the register and then very slowly took the nickel out of the machine and turned to hand it to me....still looking terribly confused.

Then I asked her for a stopper (that is a long green plastic stick you put into the little sippy drink hole in your cup so it doesn't splash all over the place). She handed me one....holding the part that goes right in my drink!

Being the germophobe that I am, I wanted to say, "Now could you hand me another one, but without the cooties this time," but I didn't because I am a nice, very patient person and I figured the hot drink would kill the cooties any way.

Hopefully my little barista just wasn't awake yet!

But I Don't Want To!

I don't sleep as well as I did even six months ago. For me it has everything to do with what I am eating and my emotional state. Some nights my brain refuses to shut off and I can't fall asleep. Then I wake up in the middle of the night and my brain picks up right where it left off when I did finally fall asleep. I ask the voices to stop...but they don't listen. Chatter, chatter, chatter!

This morning I woke up right before the alarm went off like I usually do, and I lay there for a moment thinking....."Did I wake up during the night?" Hmmmm...don't think so. I didn't even remember falling asleep! Wow! That's awesome!

I was so happy and felt so content and peaceful that I didn't want to get up...getting up meant twenty minutes of pilates, a one mile walk/jog with the dog, making some kind of healthy lunch, a shower and heading to work.

I lay there for what seemed to be a minute, but was actually about ten. "Oh, I wish I was off today."

I dragged myself to my workshop, turned on the computer and started checking e-mails and my etsy shops...still not entirely awake, but knowing full well that if I didn't get going I would never get in my pilates or my walk.

Ah, was that it? Was my alter ego trying to sabotage my "Healthy Eating and Workout Plan" during week three? Week three is when I usually fizzle out.....

By now I was twenty minutes behind schedule. Refusing to fall prey to my lazy, junk food eating alter ego, I quickly threw on my work out clothes, grabbed my mat and headed to the living room. I did my pilates under the watchful and very annoying eye of the dog.....who obviously knew we were twenty minutes late for her walk.

Threw on a little jacket, my hat, grabbed two little doggie treats for the walk, a bag for poop (just in case), my keys, my phone and out the door we went. "Maybe we better only do 1/2 mile because it's so late!" I thought.

Walk, jog, walk, jog....1/2 mile done. Look at the time on my phone.....it's late. Crap! No excuses...let's go! Jog, walk, jog, walk.....one mile done!

Make my lunch...
Hit the shower...
Make up on...
Hair done....
Clothes on....

"Be good girls!" and out the door and off to work!

I didn't want to get up this morning...but I did.
I didn't want to exercise this morning...but I did.
I didn't want to walk a mile this morning...but I did.
I didn't want to go to work this morning...but I did.

All I can say is CHEE HOO! I am so proud of me....

I did want an extra Starbucks Chai Latte this morning...and I did...and it was oh so good!!

My Addictive "Habit"

(I know I have touched on this topic before, but I need to get it out in the open today. It will give me strength!)

"Do you want to get Starbucks?" Tresa asked.
"What's Starbucks?"
"You've never been to Starbucks?" she said giving me the...are you kidding me look.
"No. What is it?"
"It's a really great coffee place."
"I don't like coffee."
"You will like this," she assured me.

That is how my addiction to Starbucks started. "You will like this", was an understatement. Frappuccinos are like dessert in a plastic cup! They don't even taste like coffee. They taste like heaven!

My addiction though is their Chai Latte. The taste is indescribably delicious. I was going to say orgasmic, but that might be a little much and I don't want to scare away any of my faithful followers, so let's just say the taste is utterly delightful! :)

I started out pulling into the drive through at the Starbucks on my way to work and treating myself to a Grande (medium), non-fat, extra hot Chai Latte every Friday. Such a great way to wind up the work week....so I thought.

Then one bitterly cold Monday morning I thought how nice it would be to feel that sweet spicy liquid as it slid down my throat and warmed my little tummy. Sounds innocent enough doesn't it?

Then one Friday, I thought how much my little tummy would like an egg and cheese croissant from Dunkin' Donuts to go with the sweet spicy chai latte from Starbucks.

Then one Wednesday, I thought..."Oh just this one time I'll do a Wednesday Starbucks stop. I deserve it. Then I decided that I deserved it every Wednesday. When I hit that three times a week mark, I did downsize to a tall...which for those of you that don't go to Starbucks is really a small. I was starting to feel some guilt over the carbs and the money I was spending.

I don't even remember how Tuesday started, but I think that's how it is with an addiction. It just kinds of creeps up and grabs you in the behind! Then last week.....oh, last week....I stopped all five days. That's when I knew it was time to "Just Say No!"

I can't tell you what Starbucks puts in their drinks, but I do know it is something like liquid nicotine...because once you start, you just can't stop.

I am so bad that the night before a Starbucks day, I actually get a rush. "Oh, yeah....tomorrow is a Starbucks day!"

I'm going to allow myself two per week, and then hopefully go down to only one per week. So, on Monday this week I stopped and got a tall Chai. Then yesterday as I was coming down the road that Starbucks is on, I thought that if I feel tempted I will move into the left lane so there is no chance of a sudden right turn. You would have been so proud of me! I stayed strong and breezed right on past, but I did inhale deeply and tried to imagine the aroma of my chai. Ahhhh.....

Today I breezed right by and didn't even take the deep breath. Now I already have my plan for the rest of the week. We are having a breakfast at work on Friday and I know I will be eating coffee cake and a bagel....so that would not be a good day for Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts. So.....I am having them TOMORROW and I can't wait!!!

What's your addiction???