How Does This Happen?

I was in the bathroom Tuesday morning putting on my make up. I had the radio on in my workshop and the news came on. I heard a familiar name mentioned....followed by....arrested for armed robbery!

The name they mentioned was a kid that my boys went to school with. They weren't friends with him, but he lived one street over from us for a while. Michael played soccer with his older brother. This boy was a year older than Matt, my youngest and he was always the tough guy. He was a bit of a bully....but armed robbery? Are you kidding me?

His mom was one of the nicest people you would ever want to meet! I grew up with her and her sister. I didn't know his dad or his dad's family very well, but they seemed like nice people. We all went to the same high school.

We were just talking at work about this very thing on Monday. I always wonder what happens along the way, to make kids turn out the way they do. These kids all go to the same schools. They all play together. Some play sports together and even hang out together. Yes, many of them experiment with alcohol and drugs...there are very few perfect kids out there as much as many parents would like to believe. Even the smart kids from stable homes do things they shouldn't be doing...but what happens that some of them outgrow that immaturity and bad decision making and others just don't?

I don't know what has happened to him or his family since the kids were in school, but my heart aches for them all.

Do you ever wonder "why" when you hear about stuff like this? They all start out beautiful and innocent. How does one become successful and another one becomes a felon? What path did their lives take that lead them to make that kind of decision? If something had been different in their life....would they be different? It makes me sad.

Who Are You?

If we are forever growing and changing...do we ever become the person we are meant to be? I feel like I am a combination of a caterpillar and a cat. Caterpillars go through metamorphosis, and I feel like I've done that at least as many times as a cat has lives! Does that make any sense at all?

When I was little, I was outgoing and friendly. I had no problem talking to anyone.

In Junior High, I was still pretty comfortable with myself. Then in high school I started to feel just a little inferior to the beautiful people and the true leaders. So, I became a bit quiet and shy around certain people.

Once I was out of high school I changed again and excelled in my career, but still said "no thanks" when offered management opportunities. That wasn't who I was at that moment.

I married and had children and changed yet again into the "defender" and the "helper" and the "keeper of the children". I wasn't afraid to defend my stance on any subject. My children became life itself.

The kids grew up and I reverted back to the quiet and shy girl for a while. I wasn't quite sure who I was now or who I wanted to be with my children not "needing" me like before.

Then I slowly went through metamorphosis yet again and became the person I am today. I am quiet when I need to be quiet and outspoken when I see fit. I like myself now more than I ever have, and I think that is fulfilling in itself.

I am not fearful of change. I don't reject change. I welcome it with open arms.

I am in butterfly mode right now, but as time goes by....who knows, I just might go back to being a caterpillar and see what emerges. Life is such an adventure!